Sexual Abuse & Rape

Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. Men, women, young, old can all be victims of sexual abuse or rape.

WHAT IS SEXUAL ASSUALT?

Sexual Assault is a crime of violence, not physical passion. Sexual assault occurs when one or more persons force another person into participating in sexual acts without the person’s consent. A large number of assaults occur within the victim’s home and are committed by persons known to the victim- not by strangers! Marital rape is against the law.

Sexual Violence

What is sexual violence?
Any time someone forces another person to have sex, it is sexual violence. Sexual violence is also called rape.

1 out 5 women in N.C. have been raped Most people who are raped are woman, but men are sometimes raped, too. A woman can be raped by some one she knows or by a stranger Acquaintance rape is more common than a stranger rape. The rapist is often a friend, relative or her own partner. Many women don’t realize it is rape when some one they know forces them to have sex.

Knowing how sexual violence happens can help you protect yourself. If you know what to look for, you can learn ways to reduce the risk.

Sexual Harassment

  • When someone talks about sex, gestures or touches another person in a sexual way that makes the other person uncomfortable, it is sexual harassment.

  • The harasser is often someone with power, such as a teacher or a boss. Sexual harassment isn’t always sexual violence. But it can lead to sexual violence.

Sexual Harassment can include:

  • Comments about your body

  • clothes or gender Jokes

  • remarks or teasing Hints or threats that you will lose your job get a bad grade, etc. if you don’t have sex with the harasser.

  • Insulting sounds

  • obscene gestures

  • touching or pinching

  • Staring at our body

  • brushing up against your body

What to watch for

You can’t tell someone is a rapist by looking. Many rapists look and act normal. But there may be warning signs. Not everyone with these traits is a rapist, and not all rapists will have these traits but many rapists:

  • Do not respect woman.

  • See women as sex objects

  • Continue to touch a woman even when asked to stop.

  • Think violent behavior is normal.

  • Drink and use drugs.

  • Encourage women they are with to drink and use drugs.

What To Do About Sexual Violence

Protecting Yourself from Rape by Someone You Know

  • Know your sexual desires and limits ahead of time.

  • Know what is OK for you and what is not.

  • Be clear with the person you’re with about what your limits are.

  • Be sure you mean what you say.

  • Be alert for any warning signs.

  • Don’t ride alone with someone you recently met.

  • Have money for bus or cab fare home

  • Be careful about alcohol or other drug use.

  • Don’t be pressured into sex.

  • Trust your feelings.

  • If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, leave right away.

By Strangers

  • Know your neighbors.

  • You can watch out for each other.

  • Burglarproof your home.

  • Don’t let strangers into your home.

  • Be alert.

  • Stay on well-lighted streets with other people.

  • Walk with confidence.

  • Act sure of yourself and where you are going.

  • If your car stalls, lift the hood and turn on the flashers. Stay in the car with the doors locked. Wait for the police or ask someone who stops to call them.

Stopping Sexual Harassment

  • If it is at school or work, find out if there is a sexual harassment policy in the place.

  • If so, use it.

  • If not, ask why not.

  • Write down the dates and the events that happened.

  • Talk to a trusted friend.

  • Say no to the harassment.

  • One way is in a letter that tells the facts, your feelings and what you want to happen next.

  • Find out of others have been harassed. Maybe they will come forward too.

When You Are in Danger If Someone Attacks You

  • Try to stay calm.

  • It is easier to think clearly.

  • Fight, scream or run away if you can.

  • Don’t plead or cry. It probably will not help.

  • Say that you have a sexually transmitted disease like herpes or HIV.

  • Trust your feelings. Sometimes it is safer not to fight or run away.

  • If you have to submit, remember you are not responsible in any way for the rape.

If you are raped: After the Crime

  • You are the victim of a crime.

  • Don’t blame yourself

  • Get medical attention.

  • Seek help and support.

What should I do if I am sexually assaulted?

  • Find a safe environment - anywhere away from the attacker.

  • Ask a trusted friend stay with you for moral support. Preserve evidence of the attack - don't bathe or brush your teeth.

  • Write down all the details you can recall about the attack & the attacker.

  • Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, for free, confidential counseling, 24 hours a day: 1-800-656-HOPE.

  • Get medical attention. Even with no physical injuries, it is important to determine the risks of STDs and pregnancy.

  • To preserve forensic evidence, ask the hospital to conduct a rape kit exam.

  • If you suspect you may have been drugged, ask that a urine sample be collected. The sample will need to be analyzed later on by a forensic lab.

  • Report the rape to law enforcement authorities. A counselor can provide the information you'll need understand the process.

  • Remember it wasn't your fault.

  • Recognize that healing from rape takes time.

  • Give yourself the time you need.

  • Know that it's never too late to call. Even if the attack happened years ago, the National Sexual Assault Hotline can still help. Many victims do not realize they need help until months or years later.